|—||Fyodor Dostoyevsky (via onlinecounsellingcollege)|
Lara Stone photographed by Cuneyt Akeroglu for Antidote S/S 2014
Photo by:A.S Nagpal
"Paint War Engagement Session"
oh my fucking god i can’t even take how cute this is
do fucking want
The story of my personal and professional life.
One year ago today …
Sitting in my car in front of my school . I had already graduated a month prior but I was visiting . Little did I know my world was about to be shattered.
Facebook … Of all places . I am looking and see it. The first thing on my newsfeed. A picture of you from some girl I’d never seen nor heard of and it says rest in peace. I didn’t really believe it and thought it was not a very funny joke. I must’ve just sat there five minutes staring . When I finally saw your sisters status that confirmed my nightmare.
I can’t explain what I felt .. I didn’t know what to do .. Cry ? Scream? Drive? I without conscious just walked into school and collapsed.
I called you a billion times waiting for you to pick up and say it wasn’t real.
It’s weird I was in shock for days . I had felt pain before but nothing like that.
I layed in bed with the covers over my head for days . Fully clothed just staring. I had forgotten how to blink. When I wasn’t doing that I was numbing myself with whiskey, Xanax, chain smoking. Etc.
I was so angry at everyone . People who didn’t know him. I wanted the world to pause I wanted everyone to mourn. I wanted to scream but I barely muttered anything but a whisper that week.
The thing about it was not just that you were my best friend but that you meant so ych to so many people . You inspired. You brought so many beautiful souls together. There’s a bond now of all us connected by you … Forever.
I thought the world had stopped I couldn’t is how living a normal life. The feeling of not being able to breathe .. The feeling someone had kicked me in the stomach . I didn’t think it’d ever end.
You taught so many of us lessons of love, acceptance , being ourselves without being afraid. And well continue teaching those lessons because of you.
It’s been 365 days… And oh the things that have taken place in those 365 days…
Moving across the country .. Moving back .. Getting my dream job and everything In between. “What would you think of me now .. So lucky so strong.. So proud”
Were all living for you lee. We want to make you proud . We want your legacy to live on. Loving fully . Appreciating each other more. Forgiving. All because of you . Our bright light. Our whitelight . I love you always and forever . ⚡️❤️